


I'm Not the Only One

by did_someone_say_plums



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Reader Insert, Sorry?, bucky is not nice in this, i hate myself for writing this, i'll make it up to you i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/did_someone_say_plums/pseuds/did_someone_say_plums
Summary: Based off of the Song I’m Not the Only One by Sam Smith.Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Language. Shitty writing.





	I'm Not the Only One

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky is not nice in this. I am sorry but also not really.

**_You and me we made a vow_ **   
**_For better or for worse_ **   
**_I can't believe you let me down_ **   
**_But the proof is in the way it hurts_ **   
**_For months on end I've had my doubts_ **   
**_Denying every tear_ **   
**_I wish this would be over now_ _  
_ _But I know that I still need you here_**

You stared at the framed picture on your bedside table, the smiling faces of you and Bucky staring back at you. The way he held onto you and stared at you like you were the only person in the world beside himself made your heart ache. You no longer recognized the man in the photo, you hadn’t seen him smile or look at you like that in _months._ The picture was from your wedding day, a day you remembered well. You remembered walking down the aisle and seeing him standing there waiting for you with that big, stupid grin on his face that you loved and tears in his eyes. You remembered his vows, where he promised you that he’d stand by your side no matter what life threw your way, until the end of the line. Thinking about your wedding day only caused the desire to ignore every sign and every problem to grow. You loved Bucky, you needed him in your life.

You had started to grow suspicious around six months ago. You couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment or incident that triggered these doubts, rather it was a culmination of small things, changes in his routine and behavior that would have seemed like nothing to anyone else. He started staying at work later, claiming to be behind on paperwork regarding missions. What started as him only staying an hour or two later quickly became three which became four and before you knew it you were going to bed alone, laying awake until he finally crawled into bed with you. You tried bring up the topic of him working late on more than one occasion, suggesting that maybe he bring the mission reports home to work on. He almost always got defensive, the conversation almost always ending in an argument.   

You didn’t want to believe it, you didn’t want to believe there was someone else. You wanted to believe that he was telling you the truth, that he really was working late every night. The Bucky you had fallen in love with would never lie to you, would never do anything to hurt you. You sat on the edge of your bed, head in your hands. You knew you couldn’t keep on pretending that everything was normal between you and Bucky. The more you thought about it the more the ache in your heart grew. It was almost unbearable. You felt sick, he was supposed to be by your side, he was supposed to be _on_ your side.

  
**_You say I'm crazy_ ** ****  
**_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_ ** ****  
**_But when you call me baby_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_I know I'm not the only one_**

He was staying late again, the fourth time this week. He had explained that Steve needed him to finish up some reports from the last mission and he had put them off until the last minute, promising to be home for dinner. You knew that was bullshit, you knew Bucky and you knew he _never_ put things off until the last minute, especially if it was something for Steve. You decided to call Steve, determined to catch Bucky in his lie.

Steve picked up the phone after only two rings. “Hey, (Y/N), what’s up?”

“Steve! Hey I know Buck put off those mission reports until the last minute but do you know about what time he’ll be home? I want to know what time to start dinner.”

“What do you mean? He turned those reports in days ago. I thought he’d be home by now. He left about an hour ago, same time as always.

Your heart sank to your stomach, a small part of you had hoped that he was telling you the truth, that just this once he was telling the truth and you were being irrational.

“Oh, I’m sure he had an errand to run or something. Thanks Steve.”

You hung up before Steve could say anything else, tears beginning to sting your eyes. You didn’t know why you were this upset, this was hardly the first time he had done this. Maybe it was because this time you knew for sure he was lying, you couldn’t convince yourself that _maybe_ he was telling the truth. Steve had said it himself, Bucky had left an hour ago. There were no mission reports to finish.

The sound of the door opening behind you made you jump. You whipped around to see Bucky setting his jacket on the back of the couch.

You stayed frozen in your spot as he came up to you and kissed your cheek. “Hey baby, told you I’d be home for dinner.”

He didn’t spare you a second glance as he walked up the stairs to your shared room to change out of the clothes he had worn to work before joining you at the table.

Bucky sat across from you, attempting to make small talk with you to avoid yet another painful, silent dinner. “How was your day?”

“It was fine, I talked to Steve today.”

He nodded, taking a bite of food before responding, not paying much attention to what you were saying. “That’s nice.”

“You know, he told me something really interesting.”

You watched him, his eyes never meeting yours as he kept his attention on his phone and his food. “Oh?”

“Mhm. He told me you didn’t actually have any reports to finish and that you left about an hour earlier than you told me you did.”

He let out a sigh, closing his eyes and setting his phone down. “Please baby, let's not do this again.”

You sat up straighter, setting your fork down and taking a sip of your water. “Oh no, lets. How often do you _actually_ stay late? Where do you go, Bucky?”

He stands up from the table, scraping his unfinished meal into the trash and placing his dish in the sink. “Why? Are you keeping tabs on me now?”

“No, I just want to know where you’re going for hours after work. I know you aren’t spending that time at the compound. Where are you really going?”

He spins around and places his hands on the island countertop, his grip threatening to crack the expensive granite and his voice cold. “I didn’t know I had to report to you my every movement, thought I left that behind with Hydra. You’re being crazy. Why don’t you go upstairs, I’ll do the dishes.”

You stay seated, your arms crossed and your eyes trained on him deciding if you wanted to continue the argument or if you wanted to let the topic rest tonight. The comment about Hydra stung. You had tried so hard to help him forget his life with Hydra. You had tried so hard to make his life the complete opposite of what it was with Hydra.dd

“Fine.” You stood up from your seat and made your way up the stairs without another word, leaving your plate full of food sitting on the table for him to clean up. 

  
**_You've been so unavailable_ ** ****  
**_Now sadly I know why_ ** ****  
**_Your heart is unobtainable_ ** **_  
_ _Even though you don't share mine_**

Entering your room, you looked at the clothes Bucky had left laying on the floor. You rolled your eyes and resisted the urge to scream down the stairs for him to pick up his dirty clothes. You gathered them in your arms intending to dispose of them in the hamper when you saw it. _It._ A mark on the collar of his shirt. Lipstick. You couldn’t mistake the smear for anything else. It wasn’t any color you wore, you never wore pink lipstick. Had you seen it any other time you would have liked the color, a soft pink that would have reminded you of sunsets and spring flowers but in that moment you decided it was trashy, the trashiest color you had ever seen and it was harsh against the white t-shirt in your hands. In that moment the pink reminded you of the gross medicine masquerading as a bubblegum flavor your mom would force down your throat when you were sick.

You lifted the shirt to your nose and inhaled, your senses assaulted with a smell that was decidedly and unmistakably _Bucky_ but there was something else. A smell you didn’t recognize. It wasn’t a perfume you would wear, the smell much to sweet for your tastes. It was sickenly sweet and it reminded you of the artificial sugar that only young kids liked.

You felt sick, the hole in your chest growing bigger and bigger. You couldn’t deny it anymore, you couldn’t continue to play dumb. Not after the way he avoided your questions tonight, the lipstick on his t-shirt, the perfume that seemed to linger around you. You heard the rattle of car keys followed by the sound of the front door slamming and you finally let yourself break. You collapsed onto your bed and let the sobs rip through you knowing that more likely than not, Bucky was not coming home tonight.

  
**_You say I'm crazy_ ** ****  
**_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_ ** ****  
**_But when you call me baby_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_I know I'm not the only one_**

If there was one person who could always make you feel better, it was Natasha. If there was anyone in your life who had earned the title of your best friend it was Nat, she had been with you through everything. She had been with you through breakups, drunken nights out, days spent sick in bed, she had even been the maid of honor at your wedding. Bucky had introduced the two of you before he left for a particularly long mission, the first one longer than a few days he had been on since the two of you had started dating. She spent nearly everyday those two weeks keeping you occupied, not allowing you to worry about him. She showed you around New York, taking you to her favorite spots to hide from the world and introducing you to her favorite restaurants. The two of you had made a point to always grab lunch together at least once a week, which is where you found yourself now.

Nat sat across from you, rambling on about something that Tony had done earlier in the week but you couldn’t stay focused. You tried, you really did, but your mind kept wandering to the previous night, the lipstick and the perfume finding a way to invade every thought you had.

“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”

You snapped your head back up, focusing your attention back to Nat. “What? I am, I promise.”

She leaned forward, resting her arms on the table in front of her and raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What was I just saying?”

“Something about Tony?”

“You’re about five minutes behind. What’s going on with you?” She took a sip of her drink, waiting on your response.

You sighed, closing your eyes and resting your head on the table. “I think, no, _I know_ Bucky is cheating on me.”

You lifted your head back up when you heard Nat choke on her soda, offering her your water when she continued to cough.

“You’re crazy, he is _not_ cheating on you.”

“He lies about staying late at the compound and then he refuses to tell me where he actually goes. We haven’t had sex in months Nat, _months,_ he hardly even touches me even more. I found lipstick on his t-shirt yesterday, it reeked of cheap perfume. There’s someone else.”

Nat sat frozen across from you, eyes wide in surprise. “There has to be another reason. He wouldn’t cheat on you. Who would he even cheat on you with?”

You stared down at your feet. “I don’t know, I have no idea.”

  
**_I have loved you for many years_ ** ****  
**_Maybe I am just not enough_ ** ****  
**_You've made me realize my deepest fear_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_By lying and tearing us up_**

You sat on the couch downstairs facing the front door, waiting. Bucky hadn’t returned last night and you knew he had to come back at some point if only to grab more clothes. You knew the truth but a small part of you still didn’t believe it, a small part of you wanted to ignore all of the signs practically smacking you in the face. You had to hear it from him, you had to confront him.

In all of the years you had loved Bucky you never thought he would do anything like this. What had you done to drive him away? You would give anything for him to love you again, to love you the way that you loved him. You had tried so hard to hold your marriage together, to make it work through all of his absent nights and countless lies.

The door opened and Bucky stepped through, shock briefly crossing his face when he registered you sitting on the couch.

“Where were you? Where did you go last night? Don’t say the compound. I know you weren’t there.”

He groaned. “Really? I just got home. You’re never going to let this go, are you?”

“No Bucky, I’m not.”

He threw his hands up in exasperation. “Fine, I was at Steve’s apartment.”

You stood up from the couch, your arms crossing in front of you. “I don’t believe you.”

He pushed passed you, stomping up the stairs and raising his voice as he spoke.“You know what, don’t believe me then.”

  
**_You say I'm crazy_ ** ****  
**_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_ ** ****  
**_But when you call me baby_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_I know I'm not the only one_**

You followed close behind him, determined to get an answer out of him. “I’m sick and tired of this Bucky. You don’t think I know, do you?”

He stopped in the middle of your room and spun around, running a hand down his face. “Know what? What do you think you know?”

You were trying so hard to keep your voice steady but it was growing harder and harder by the second. “That you’re cheating on me.”

He barked out a laugh before turning back around towards his dresser, pulling out fresh clothes. “You’re crazy. I am not cheating on you.”

You snapped, any composure you had dissolved between your fingers. “Don’t fucking lie to me James. I know. I know there’s someone else. I found lipstick on your shirt and I could smell her shitty perfume. Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you’re not fucking someone else.” You hadn’t realized you were crying until you felt tears run down onto your neck. He stayed quiet, his eyes full of guilt as he stared at you.

“I want an answer! Tell me the fucking truth James!” You were yelling at this point, the tears falling faster as you stared at the man who you had once trusted would never hurt you like this.

“Don’t do this baby, please,”

You began backing away from him, moving closer to your bed. “Don’t call me that. Tell. Me.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his voice shaking as he spoke. “Nat. It’s Natasha.”

That. _That_ you hadn’t been expecting. Your breath caught in your throat and  you grabbed onto the small table by your bed. Natasha. How could you have been so stupid? The more you thought about it the more it made sense. They went on missions together all the time. They were together all day at the compound. He had known her for years, decades longer than he had known you. You thought they were close because of their past with Hydra. How could you have been so stupid?

You took a deep breath, reminding yourself how to breathe. “How long?”

“Baby, please,”

You closed your eyes, the pet name that you had once adored now sounded like nails raking down a chalkboard. “Don’t _fucking_ call me that. How long James.”

“A year.”

You picked up the picture frame from the small table and launched it at his head. He ducked, causing the frame to smack into the wall behind his head. You collapsed to the floor, sobs racking through your body.

Bucky looked at the picture you had thrown at his head, broken glass littering the floor around him. Two people smiled up at him, you and a man he no longer recognized.

  
**_You say I'm crazy_ ** ****  
**_'Cause you don't think I know what you've done_ ** ****  
**_But when you call me baby_ ** **_  
_ ** ******_I know I'm not the only one_**


End file.
